Sunday, August 10, 2008

Paperwork

photo stolen from nanibird

I wish this was the kind of "paperwork" I had to do.... I still don't know what magical prayer I need to chant to miraculously come up with an extra 5000Php for Monday. I don't get why some twentysomething who is already charging six digits for 4 hours of brainless work, still requires our measly production to shoulder the services of their required make-up artist. Of course after being berrated by some self-important footsoldier over the phone at 2am for an unanswered text message, I still put on my smiley-faced voice and said it wasn't a problem. Hello, showbusiness.

It's 6:30am and I still can't make the necessary phonecalls and I'm wondering why the hell I'm doing this when I could be doing things that are more meaningful to my life. This godforsaken spiels shoot is urgent but meaningless. Nobody cares about this. Only me, because I was dumb enough to sign the contract and get myself enmeshed in a government funded project. It's hard to work with people who "can't wait to get it over with". Government employees are like that. They take forever to do anything, and they don't care. And then they resign in the middle of it all and you're left to deal with another apathetic civil servant.

I don't want to not care. But apathy saves precious energy and therefore makes one more efficient. Like a machine. Pop in a coin and out comes the script or the avp or 10th revision to the storyline. I don't want to be efficient anymore. I want to be the passionate artiste, the diva who throws tantrums, the genius whom everyone bends over backwards to please. I wanna be like your lola Behn Cervantes. Why is it so hard to be nice? All this counting to ten will cost me a nervous breakdown pretty soon.

(shhh) happythoughtshappythoughtshappythoughtshappythoughtshappythoughtshappythoughts

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