Work

I heart Scott Adams, creator of Dilbert. I think Dilbert is only truly funny for people who work in thankless 9-hour corporate jobs.... And I'm going back to this flourescent-lighted hell--depending on the job offer (and interview results) in a few weeks from now.

It sounds crazy at this time, but I think I can focus more on the film when it is the only job I have requiring creativity and heart. Any form of writing requires creativity (whether its crappy ass tv drama or crappy ass avps). And teaching requires heart (and patience and a tough exterior). Phone sales for IT solutions may require mental work but it ends with the shift. I don't take it home with me.

Plus the money. Yes the money, I can be sure that no matter what, I get a paycheck twice a month that's enough to pay for the basics with a little extra in case the NCCA fund falls short. And maybe a little extra for the little things that keep me sane.

Not pestering your friends and parents for money to pay for emergency expenses (and "the film" may require a lot of it) gives me confidence. And I need a lot of it now more than ever. It's been four years, I'm rusty, and I'm doing something that has not been done before (at least in the history of Philippine short films I think), and filming an idea too far-out to be taken seriously. Undertaking something like this can make one look to zealous or eager (like evangelists and activists and lovestruck people and malnourished people). Like your life depended on it. And too much eagerness makes one pathetic. And nobody wants to work with pathetic people.

At this point in my life I come to a realization that people really like you because of how you make them feel about themselves. We are drawn to people who make us feel the way we want to. That of course is relative-- some need to feel needed, some need to feel important, some need to feel sexy, some need to feel feared, and you get the picture. And to get the results you want from people out is to get them to feel whatever it is they want. And this is why we like being around funny, magical people. People who give us hope and make us forget. That is why we have religious cult leaders and rockstars. Of course it takes effort to put on a show 24/7, but politicians, stars, and cassanova's do this unconsciously. This is what sales taught us. Maybe this new job could be a reviewer.

A woman may very well form a friendship with a man,

but for this to endure, it must be assisted
by a little physical antipathy.

Speaking of humour, check out The Nietzsche Family Circus. It's a Nietzsche quote paired with a cutesy Family Circus cartoon.

Thoughts are the shadows of our sensations -
always darker, emptier, simpler than these.